first book title=My Sister's Keeper character= Mary James
second book title= Briar Rose character= Becca
setting= theres no real setting. there many.
Summer Reading Paper
Rebecca Towne
“This is Mary James at the Polish Jewish program based in Storrs. Our hours are 10am to 5pm on weekdays only except on holidays. For a list of our services, please press …” the recording was cut off.
Becca put the phone down and walked to her desk. She wanted to finish all the plans for her trip to Poland. “Why is almost everyone not helpful when I need them the most? At least the Polish Embassy was helpful.” She couldn’t wait to go on this trip. To finally find more answers about Gemma’s past…she hoped. She decided to try calling the Polish Jewish program. This time someone picked up.
“Hello, Polish Jewish program how may I help you?” said a young slightly drawling voice.
“Um yes hello. I’m planning a trip to Poland I was wondering if I could arrange for a translator.” Becca replied.
They had been speaking for about two minutes when her dad walked into the room. “Do you have a translator?” He whispered.
“Almost.” Becca replied.
“Excuse me?” Becca had thought that she had whispered the answer but apparently she had said it out loud; Mary had heard.
“Oh I’m sorry. Could you hold one second please?” asked Becca.
“Oh, yeah. Sure.”
Becca covered the mouthpiece with her hand and looked up at her dad.
“Rebecca dear, I want to make sure that you have a safe translator. Do they do background checks on their translators?”
“Oh dad, I’ll be fine.” Becca tried to make her father not worry about her safety. She knew all too well from her teenage years what would come next.
“Hand me the phone.” Becca gave in and handed the phone to her father.
“Hello this is Rebecca’s father, Dr Berlin. I have some concerns about this translator that you are arranging to meet my daughter in Poland.”
There was a slight pause at the other end of the line as Mary adjusted to hearing someone else’s voice. “Oh yes. Sorry Dr. Berlin. I had a friend back when I was younger whose name was Becca and her last name was Berlin and it’s actually pretty funny because he was a doctor too. Sorry. I should really get back to business. You see I’m and intern and oh boy. I’m messin’ this all up. My sister will be cross with me.” Mary sounded flustered.
“Oh it’s quite alright dear. We all have something to worry about and things we are new at. I’m worried about my daughter going on this trip and you obviously are worried about getting your sister cross. Tell you what. You, my daughter, and I must meet somewhere and if you could bring along the papers we need to sign and I would really appreciate that.”
“Oh um. Sure okay. There are papers that need to be signed but right now the Polish Jewish program is still getting set up at this new location and it really would be best atmospherically to meet somewhere else.”
A meeting place and a time were chosen then Dr. Berlin hung up the phone.
__________________________________
When they walked into the little café, the first thing that Becca saw was a familiar face. “Mary? I haven’t seen you in a while!”
“Rebecca! Where have you been?” Mary squealed.
“I’ve been around. What are you up to? What are you doing here?” The questions came all at once.
“Well right now I’m livin’ with my sister who’s having a baby and right now I’m supposed to be meetin’ someone who wants to go to Poland.” Said Mary.
“No way. I think you’ve found that person. I’m supposed to be meeting a Mary James here. I’m going to Poland to find out what I can about Gemma’s past.”
“No way! Is Gemma still not telling?” Almost as soon as she saw Becca’s eyes start to water the tiniest bit she realized that Gemma had passed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“It’s ok. Now where is dad? I have a feeling that he knew all along. He always knows these stuff.” Just then Dr. Berlin walked up, gave Mary a quick hug and said, “I’ll let you guys sort it out and make plans for when Becca returns from Poland,” then walked away.
“Oh I’m sorry Becca, I need to get goin’ real soon. I’ll give you my number and the papers your dad asked for and when you get back you tell me all about Poland and Gemma’s story. I just know you’ll find it. I promised my sister I’d be home quick. She gets mighty cross these days.”
“Of course. It was great to see you again and I will call you when I get back. Say hi to your parents for me.” And before they both knew it their little reunion was over, and Becca was to meet a college girl, by the name of Magda Bronski in Poland, and she was to bring several pairs of size twelve blue jeans.
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My reaction to your story is that it seemed very realistic, and I could picture it in my head. Although I didn’t read either of the books, I could picture what the characters would look like. My personal reaction to the story was that it reminded me a bit of my own family. And that the parents’ concern reminded me of my own parents.
ReplyDeleteThe dialogue seemed pretty believable to me, although I did not read either of the books to know how the characters acted, I could see that happening to someone in real life. The characters for the most part talked like the way I could actually see people talking, and seemed to have the tone like a normal person would talk.
My favorite line was “I should really get back to business. You see I’m and intern and oh boy. I’m messin’ this all up. My sister will be cross with me.” I liked this line because it used the word cross, and it’s a word that you never really see much anymore. I also liked how you wrote “messin’” like how an actual person would say it.
One thing that was a bit distracting was a couple of run-on sentences. They weren’t terrible, it’s just in some ways you could have said it better. Or the wording could’ve been different.
A piece of advice I would give to you for future writing assignments would be to consider spacing out the dialogue a bit more. Sometimes, when you have dialogue in bigger paragraphs it makes it a little harder to follow, but you didn’t do that much.
Good Job!
I think your story seem very realistic. I liked how Becca’s dad interfered and asked about the translators and how he is concerned about her safety. That reminds me of my mom a lot.
ReplyDeleteThe actions and the dialogues of the characters also seemed really natural, something that we all do on an everyday basis.
“I had a friend back when I was younger whose name was Becca and her last name was Berlin and it’s actually pretty funny because he was a doctor too. Sorry. I should really get back to business. You see I’m and intern and oh boy. I’m messin’ this all up. My sister will be cross with me.” This part of the essay really stood out to me because it shows that even in stories, we make mistakes. It reminds me of myself because sometimes I trail off to different topics like Mary.