tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7635655359634014738.post3103620714635486645..comments2010-01-26T23:45:28.178+01:00Comments on becca's bouncy blog: becca's summer reading essaybeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03612044363649733202noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7635655359634014738.post-25257332739617354072009-09-15T05:04:30.844+02:002009-09-15T05:04:30.844+02:00I think your story seem very realistic. I liked ho...I think your story seem very realistic. I liked how Becca’s dad interfered and asked about the translators and how he is concerned about her safety. That reminds me of my mom a lot.<br />The actions and the dialogues of the characters also seemed really natural, something that we all do on an everyday basis.<br />“I had a friend back when I was younger whose name was Becca and her last name was Berlin and it’s actually pretty funny because he was a doctor too. Sorry. I should really get back to business. You see I’m and intern and oh boy. I’m messin’ this all up. My sister will be cross with me.” This part of the essay really stood out to me because it shows that even in stories, we make mistakes. It reminds me of myself because sometimes I trail off to different topics like Mary.Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13713908555782935415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7635655359634014738.post-66995388288952081932009-09-15T04:15:07.432+02:002009-09-15T04:15:07.432+02:00My reaction to your story is that it seemed very r...My reaction to your story is that it seemed very realistic, and I could picture it in my head. Although I didn’t read either of the books, I could picture what the characters would look like. My personal reaction to the story was that it reminded me a bit of my own family. And that the parents’ concern reminded me of my own parents.<br /><br />The dialogue seemed pretty believable to me, although I did not read either of the books to know how the characters acted, I could see that happening to someone in real life. The characters for the most part talked like the way I could actually see people talking, and seemed to have the tone like a normal person would talk.<br /><br />My favorite line was “I should really get back to business. You see I’m and intern and oh boy. I’m messin’ this all up. My sister will be cross with me.” I liked this line because it used the word cross, and it’s a word that you never really see much anymore. I also liked how you wrote “messin’” like how an actual person would say it.<br /><br />One thing that was a bit distracting was a couple of run-on sentences. They weren’t terrible, it’s just in some ways you could have said it better. Or the wording could’ve been different.<br /><br />A piece of advice I would give to you for future writing assignments would be to consider spacing out the dialogue a bit more. Sometimes, when you have dialogue in bigger paragraphs it makes it a little harder to follow, but you didn’t do that much.<br /><br />Good Job!Daniellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14229862229566343076noreply@blogger.com